Crap my family says

Poppa on my great aunt's shaved chihuahua "It looks like... what's that animation?"
Dad "Ren and stimpy?"
Poppa "The old one... With the head coming out?"
Dad and I clueless
Poppa "E.T!"


Dad on the drive out to my place:
"Hang your fur coat up or the cat will try to have sex with it."
Me-"aww, he a tiny white rapist"
Dad- "Like that guy KJ52,he says something like that..."
Me- "Uh...it's white rapper Dad. He's a rapper not a rapist"
Dad- "Well I was almost right."


On a family road trip my cousin and I were singing along to "Big Spender"
The minute you walked iiiin the joint *bumbum* I could tell you were a man of distinction"
Cousin "A real good hooker! wait... hooker? is it hooker?"


Me "Careful with that cup,you're about to spill ice on my head!"
My brother "Well, in physics I learned that heat rises so if I turn this cup upside down, the ice wont fall out!"